Never let anyone dull your shine.

I haven't written in over a week and mainly it's because I haven't found the time or by the time I get home I'm super worn out from working all day. But I figured that now is the best time for an update on everything that's been going on...

The past two weeks has been a roller coaster of ups and downs in the city. I work 10-6/6:30 and I walk to work every morning and home every night if it's not raining. I'm finally starting to get to know my co-workers and realize that I'm just a different breed than the rest of them. At 21 (almost 22) I'm one of the youngest and the rest are settled down into relationships and marriage. It seems like no matter what I'm surrounded by people that have found the so-called "one." I met this guy last week and went out for drinks on Saturday. He was nice and worked down in the Financial District for a bank. He just wasn't my type at all but I decided to give him a chance on Wednesday night to take me on a date out for dinner. That night was the night from hell. I've always been told to never trust men and never ever leave my drink alone, which I usually never do. But I stupidly did, and trust me I learned my lesson. I can handle my liquor and even at my worst moments I can remember parts of the night, I never fully black out. (Even on the Everclear nights and nights of partial blurriness.) Wednesday night by 10:30 (at the latest) I can't remember anything after then. At dinner I had 2 glasses of Sangria and 2 glasses of white wine with dessert. I left to go to the bathroom and after I finished my 2nd glass of wine, I truly don't remember the rest of the night. I know I threw up but mainly because of the taste I had in my mouth the next morning. I know nothing happened because Mother Nature decided to bless me with a visit, for the first time I'm thankful that she did. What it comes down to was that I drugged, and yes Momma and Daddy do know. Thankfully they were persistent in their nightly calls and when I didn't answer they got worried and continued to call. When I finally answered Madre said that I could hardly talk and was not making much sense at all, I couldn't even tell them the right name of my date. The outcome of the night being that I was drugged, by my date or another I'm still not sure. And after talking to girls up here it seems to be a normal occurrence by Yankee boys and that almost every girl has been at one point. It's a scary thought and knowing that anything could have happened, I thank God every moment for watching over for me.

Thursday I spent the day over thinking everything and trying to make sense of the night before. I was in the City for less than 2 weeks and something bad had already happened. I can't deny the fact that I thought about coming back to the South. New York has always been my dream and so has fashion. I've waited for this opportunity my entire life and now that I have it, I question if it's what I really want. I'm a Southern girl and there will never be anything better to me than the South. I've always fought that I hated how small it was and that there was nothing there for me. That what I wanted to do was in New York and that it was the place I had to be. Although I'm learning so much and making great contacts, I would rather be back in home. Things there are much sweeter, slower and overall happier. I miss being able to see the stars and smell what clean air smells like. I miss Southern Boys that hold open the door, that believe in Brooks Brothers, Southern Tide and all things preppy. New York is completely different than what I thought it was. Everything is so fast paced and black is the color of choice. The men have no manners and the girls are either trash or sluts. It's dirty and loud and yes, this city never sleeps. But with all of my experiences and everything I'm learning, I'm becoming a stronger person and figuring out what I do want out of life.

I went out with a good friend from Pensacola last night that I haven't seen in years to a bar in Hoboken, New Jersey. It was so good to catch up with her and I'm thankful we're such great friends. She's one of the only ones that will tell me like it is and that I just need to grow up. Trust me I had my melt down at about 2 am and it wasn't pretty. But as usual she gave me the best advice that I needed to hear. Today I've been in a better perspective about things and am just taking each day as it comes.

Anyways I have a date with a new guy tomorrow. He's a science teacher at an all boys private school in the Upper East Side and he's from Wales. Yes he even has the accent! haha. It's a blind date so we'll see how it goes. We're going to the Met to explore the new exhibit on the rooftop and to the gardens. I'll keep you updated more often for now on.

Loves, Nikki